Rethinking the Language of "Tolerance"

Tolerance - it's like me accepting you for who/what/when/where/why/how you are right?  We use this language to create a hopeful utopia of equality, righteousness, and justice.  We say it to one another and bear it as a badge of being a safe, comforting ally.  When we say tolerance, it's a good thing right?  At least that's what I've always been taught and have always thought.

For the past two weeks, I was lucky enough to hear two very different social justice activists speak on their viewpoints of social justice, privilege, race/racism, gender and sexuality, and all the overlapping and tangential gray areas that all these topics encompass.  I met Elijah Kuan Wong, spoken word artist, and Dennis Chin, "professional" activist.  On both occasions, the topic of the language of "tolerance" was brought up by the speakers.  They questioned the implications of using that word, especially in the social justice and activism arenas.

Elijah, the notably angrier and agressive speaker, completely scorns the idea of tolerance.  He absolutely hates it.  To him, people should never let others "tolerate" them.  To tolerate someone is inherently holding them to a standard that shouldn't be there in the first place, and gives the tolerator power over the tolerated.  Why should certain people be tolerated, and others not?  Where are these lines of tolerance drawn and why should they be assumed?

Dennis Chin, on the other hand, "loooooooooves tolerance."  But he also brought up a very interesting point: the differences between "tolerance" and "understanding."  While tolerating people is not a bad thing, he finds understanding people to be much more useful and potent.  To understand someone is to relate to them and much more accepting the many dimensions that a person is and can be, as opposed to tolerating someone one-dimensionally.

What they said really got me thinking and wondering.  Where did we get this notion of tolerance from?  I remember my teachers, friends, family, and influences telling me that tolerance is a good thing and intolerance is bad.  Hell, even at Wesleyan, everyone always makes snide comments at how Wesleyan's biggest intolerance is against intolerance.  There seems to be a general belief among tolerators, myself included, that it will bring about acceptance and equality, but is that a bad thing?  Here is my theory:

Everyone knows that when the Pilgrims came over to America, they were fleeing from religious persecution.  They sought on a perilous sea voyage to find a land where they could practice their religious freely and safely.  This spurred many other religious groups, similar and different ones, to come to American land so that they may start their own colonies and thus, religious pluralism was created.  The presence of this pluralism did require a sort of agreement on religious tolerance, especially since the basis of these colonies were built upon the important of religious freedoms.  Then these ideas were codified in the Bill of Rights under the First Amendment, the freedom of religion.  Is this where the culture and idea of tolerance equals equality comes?

If that is true, then we should evaluate the progress of equality as brought about by the tolerance and protections by the American Constitution and Bill of Rights.  Did the Constitution and Bill of Rights indeed immediately bring equality.  History will always tell us no and no, again and again, certainly not racial equality, gender and sexual orientation equality, class equality, and so many more.  Though there have been so many improvements and milestones, so many victories were hard-fought and hard-won, all to raise this standard of being tolerated and being equal.  The qualifications of being equal enough to earn the right.

To me, the language of tolerance is similar to the colorblind/race-blind language.  It's a term that means so little but has so many implications.  Just because someone doesn't believe in race doesn't mean racism doesn't exist. Just because someone is tolerant doesn't mean that person is fully understanding and accepting.  It's like a giant reassuring cloak that deludes us in believing that everything is alright and okay, but it hides all the problems underneath.  It hides the fact that people may be tolerant, but they may not believe in equal civil liberties or even equal public expression.  By tolerating someone, we set a standard that as long as they are below or at this line, it is fine.  It's implies a restrictive box that does not allow for change, and that is the space people need the most.  The power is in the hands of the tolerator because they allow others when the others shouldn't be "allowed."  They should just simply be.

Going back to what Dennis Chin, understanding does provide space for that growth.  The growth that enables everyone to be as multi-facetious as they are, need to be, and can be.  Understanding implies education and the willingness to learn more and to adapt.  So where does tolerance stand in the spheres of social justice and activism?

I think tolerance is not a bad thing.  It's definitely better than blatant oppression and persecution.  However, tolerance is by no means a standstill victory.  Maybe a small win, but not a victory.  There is still something to be said and done, and fights and arguments still to be had.

RIP Tam Tran, fierce immigration student activist

I read today that a fierce activist that I met a few months ago passed away.

Tam Tran was one of several undocumented students who came to Harvard to speak about the DREAM Act a few months ago. She, and other students, courageously shared her family's story in a half filled lecture hall in Sever Hall. I remember that day very clearly. It was a Friday evening, I had walked over from a conference with very good catered food, and I just finished an apple crumble desert. The lecture hall in Sever Hall was filled with students I had never met. I thought- perhaps here are all the students that care about comprehensive immigration reform on campus.

"Tam was born in Germany to refugee parents who fought communism in their country. When she was six years old, the family moved to California. They requested asylum in the U.S., but their application remains in limbo. Tam and her family are stateless: Germany will not accept them back because they are not of German origin and return to Vietnam is impossible given the family’s anti-communist history." (apimovement.com)

On May 15 , she and one of her closet friends, Cynthia Felix, died in a car accident in Maine. She was 27.

Although I didn't personally talk to Tam, she left a definite impression on me. She had the most charming voice -- somewhat kiddy, yet very strong. And she was a Leader. She set up a comfortable environment for the other, younger, students to share their stories as undocumented citizens. I'm sure she was thinking about Arizona until the day of her tragic accident. To read about her death via my news feed, in China, at work, is a tragic thing. May she rest in peace, and may the fight for the DREAM Act and CIR succeed, soon.

Please sign this petition to grant her citizenship posthumously, and to grant her family citizenship:

http://immigration.change.org/petitions/view/request_posthumous_citizenship_for_tam_tran

http://www.boston.com/bostonglobe/obituaries/articles/2010/05/17/tam_tran_brown_student_fought_for_immigrant_rights/

Prep School Negro

[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="324" caption="The Prep School Negro: a Documentary Film by André Robert Lee"][/caption]

I was fortunate enough to attend a screening of "The Prep School Negro" yesterday, and I have to admit that when I first saw the word "Negro," I thought it had to be a joke because I couldn't process the use of that word in a serious context.  However, I thought more about it, and I realized that it was not an politically-incorrect driven joke, but more of a reflection on the dynamics of race in prep schools (silly me).  This documentary juxtaposes André Robert Lee's, the director, experience as a student of color in a predominantly white prestigious prep school with students of color attending the same school in more recent years, as well as a personal reflection in his adult years through his family and film-making process.

Lee grew up in the ghettos of Philadelphia as a black child and was always interested in his academic studies.  His studiousness paid off when he received a full scholarship to attend Germantown Friends School, a prestigious prep school.  Throughout his years there, he often realized that he was the only black person in his classes and at events.  Though he was able to pursue his academic goals more ardently at GFS, he always felt immense guilt because of the growing distance between him and his family.  In fact, he felt a constant tug between being "black" with his family and neighborhood friends and being "white" at school with his teachers and classmates.  This tug drove a wedge between him and his family because of the differences in habits, speech patterns, interests, and desires.  He reflects immensely on the differences in the cultural capital of his white classmates and his black family that immensely influenced his growth as a student and an adult.

Lee also comes back to high school where he speaks and interviews other students of color at GFS to talk about their experience as the few faces of color in a predominantly white school, and unsurprisingly, their sentiments are similar, a lack of ability to relate to their white classmates, the confusion about acceptable behavioral patterns that are dictated by racial and class expectations are still present.  The footage revealed students of color considering really interesting questions such as, "Do you feel there are enough black, Hispanic, Asians, and students of color in private/prep schools?" and "Do you feel you are the spokesperson of your race?"  In the film, there are accounts of racist interactions that these students of color have to endure, including being the exotic black guinea pig where white classmates would ask to touch their hair and touch their skin or a case where a black student was ostracized for not being "black enough."

The third storyline in this documentary is Lee's attempt to reconnect with his family years after graduation from college and while he was filming.  He captures his mother's and sister's experience and reflections on his attendance at GFS, and his "white-washing" and loss of intimacy and familial connection.  However, the film beautifully portrays the emotional rebuilding of the bridge between Lee and his family, as they talk through differences to come together.

This documentary raises really interesting points about the education system for students of color, such as the "burden of being white" that is often felt by students of color when having to adjust to a culturally white academic environment and the hostilities they face at school and at home.  Black students and students of color are always having to reinvent themselves to accommodate to the standard of a seemingly respectable and cultured student.  Students of color are often tokenized and perceived as the "spokesperson" because many of their white classmates have not had much racial exposure elsewhere.  Also, this film raises the issue of the differences in cultural capital between predominantly black public schools and predominantly white private schools, and their different learning environments.  He makes the point that these private schools often support systems for the majority while not providing enough support for the minority.  While white students may feel comfortable and safe in these environments, students of color are constantly undermined by their lesser numbers and cultural differences.

This was a really interesting documentary that brought up many interesting points on racial dynamics in educational institutions.  I recommend this documentary immensely!  Here is the link to his website of film screenings, and please try to make one of them!

Also, this documentary mentioned the "black table" that was always at school where all the black students always sat together (you know what I'm talking about).  Another really interesting blog post that analyzes and reflects more deeply on this issue of race and space is ChopTensils "Black Frats, Asian-American Student Unions, etc." post.

oh right, i'm a student

diana (my fave fake harvard prefrosh) visits me after Tufts!

This past weekend was Prefrosh weekend-- a thousand? hs seniors came to check out what Harvard is all about. Last year at this time, I was a mopey student (ALL I was thinking about was how I could convince my parents to let me go to Stanford) Given that, my own Harvard prefrosh weekend was a hot mess. I didn't do much -- when I went to the Student Activities Fair, all the Harvard students told me to go to Stanford. wtf?! When I left, I took down my hosts names on a post-it, but lost that post-it before I got home....

One year later, I wanted to make prefrosh weekend reflect the utter awesomeness that Harvard is. (I never got around to trying to convince my parents to let me go to Stanford ... best decision ever? Lots of love for stunning Stanford though)

Saturday morning: stationed outside of the Admissions office for FIVE HOURS.  literally passing out little schedules of AAA events, chatting with prefrosh from all over the world. highlight of my weekend. Also took many "Taste the 'taffle" t-shirts for myself and my roommates.

After passing out flyers, I went shopping for a camera (I will be IN Shanghai in less than three weeks, ahhhh). Not sure if I have it in me to learn how to use a DSLR... I also got three skirts for five dollars each. I love that the sales come when the prefrosh come. I waited (many many months) for all the right reasons.

After some time for myself, I met up with my two "siblings" from New York for dinner in Annenberg. And so began my epic night leading prefrosh around. After leading a small group (wrongly) to Sanders for the A Capella Jam, I realized it was up at the SOCH. My group of 5 grew by the time we walked to the Quad, and after checking out the Jam, and the AAA party, and the "Coffeehouse," I led 10+ prefrosh to Adams. Too early for the High School Musical spoof in the Pool Theater, just chatted for an hour. The musical was fun, I love the theater and I think my prefrosh did too.

The next morning: brunch with prefrosh, CityStep picnic/reunion with my little dancers, STUDENT ACTIVITIES FAIR. That notorious fair that turned me away from Harvard last year.... This time I think we aced it. On behalf of CityStep, AAA, and the Institute of Politics, I chatted with tons of prefrosh met so many new people.

SAMANTHA POWER: Right after the Activities Fair, I walked to the IOP to usher for the advanced screening of the HBO documentary Sergio, the story of the late UN diplomat described as a "cross between James Bond and Bobby Kennedy." Both Samantha Power, amaaaazing journalist/human rights advocate/Harvard professor/Obama campaign star, and Sergio's fiancee were present at the panel to discuss the film and the legacy of Sergio. Baller.

Oh right, I'm a student. Can't believe that one year ago, I was one of these prefrosh, carrying around folders stuffed with schedules and coupons and nametags. What a crazy year it's been: prom, graduation, summer, DC, Korea... all in a year. I'm such a (lame student) happy person here. What a rambling, I think I might finally start that math pset...

Nativism Going Strong in Arizona's Immigration Bill

This past Friday the bill for the "broadest and strictest immigration measure in generations" was signed by Gov. Jan Brewer in Arizona, which will require, not just enable, police officers to stop people in public spaces and demand proof of legal residency based upon reasonable suspicion so to identify, prosecute and deport illegal immigrants.  Immediate and outraged responses protest the inevitable racist targeting of Latin@s, and even "Mexico’s Foreign Ministry said in a statement that it was worried about the rights of its citizens and relations with Arizona."  Here are some other quotations from the article that sticks out in my mind:

"It also makes it a state crime — a misdemeanor — to not carry immigration papers. In addition, it allows people to sue local government or agencies if they believe federal or state immigration law is not being enforced."
Not only will specific race groups be legally targeted and harassed by police officers, but they can also be charged for something as small as forgetting their papers in the wrong bag or wrong coat.  These misdemeanor charges will then be put on their official records and future potential employers will see this information on background checks, making it harder for these people to get hired for jobs.  What will this do?  Well, it would probably push up crime and incarceration rates for Latin@s, and then perpetrate the system of race and class inequality because let's face it: these police officers will be much less likely to stop a white person for their documentations.  What employers would want to hire people that are "reasonably suspect" of illegal residency because not only would they give their businesses a bad look, but also make them subject to police intervention?

"Ms. Brewer acknowledged critics’ concerns, saying she would work to ensure that the police have proper training to carry out the law. But she sided with arguments by the law’s sponsors that it provides an indispensable tool for the police in a border state that is a leading magnet of illegal immigration. She said racial profiling would not be tolerated, adding, 'We have to trust our law enforcement.'"
Does this mean that we are living in a world where racism does not exist and that police bureaucracies are not corrupt and subject to racist police brutality?  Because if that's true, I missed that small detail.  But I'm pretty sure we don't live in a colorblind society, and if racial profiling will not be tolerated, then who is this bill really for?  Will equal effort and resources be exerted to check people of all races?  I highly doubt it.  Will white people ever look Mexican?

In another New York Times' article on the bill:

"In a nearby neighborhood, Ron White, 52, said he felt a sense of relief that something was finally being done about 'the illegals' — whom he blames for ills like congregating on the streets, breaking into homes in his neighborhood, draining tax dollars and taking jobs from Americans.

'I sure hope it does have an effect,' Mr. White said of the new law as he packed his car with groceries. 'I wouldn’t want to show proof of citizenship, but I also don’t feel it is racial profiling. You are going to look different if you are an alien, and cops know.'"
I wonder what are his standards of what aliens look like.  Does he mean tiny people with green skin and antennas jumping off spaceships or does he mean people who look and are Mexican?  Also, judging upon looks is very much akin to racial profiling.

"Alfredo Hernández-García, 22, who is not a legal resident but is married to a woman who is, already lies low, fearing he will be deported and separated from his wife, who will soon give birth."

It's striking to me that U.S. legislators can pass this kind of bill and still vigilantly deny that it will cause any sort of racism and racial profiling.  It reinforces the insistence of this fake colorblind society that we currently live in where this type of legislation will not have racist implications and consequences.  Who are we really kidding?  I think it's more important than ever to realize that colorblindness does not exist and cannot exist because it will only further racism with arguments like "There's no such thing as racism anymore so any reasonable suspicion will be solely based upon justifiable logic."

What's also really interesting to me is this sentiment of nativism because I'm pretty sure that the first illegal immigrants in our glorious country were the Pilgrims that landed on Native American shores and appropriated their space.  But this acknowledgement is so often ignored in conventional education, and honestly, for convenience's sake, must be ignored because otherwise everyone living on American soil today would be illegal immigrants.  But that's not the point.  The point is that Americans continuously ignore this piece of history and feel entitled to this space while criminalizing others for wanting the same things. Is the American Dream inherently racist?

I also want to acknowledge that in this post I do throw the term "white people" around.  However, this is not to convey anti-white sentiment or to antagonize them, but to express the continuing power dynamic that exists between white people and people of color and the difference in perceptions between the two groups that are supported and enabled by political and social institutions.  But please, let's keep the conversation flowing and tell us what you think!

Bill Gates, math madness, yuppies, and a humble request

He's a PC

What a day. I've been studying math for the past three days, and even though I spent tens of hours on boundary orientations, exterior derivatives, and all that mumbo jumbo, I took the test completely scared out of my mind. Not sure how I did, we'll see tomorrow.

Between all the math studying and skipping history class, I went to see Bill Gates speak in Sanders Theater. He came to speak on behalf of his foundation, urging us to use our skills to tackle the 'big problems' (global health and education among eight others). It was kind of surreal, I kept imagining that I was watching a commercial with Bill Gates as the star, except he was right there live in person.

Even though Gates' speech was very packaged (he's on a college tour and what he told us was probably no different than what he told Berkeley students), I did pick up on one idea he had. He mentioned how his friends had a fruitful discussion last month about two big topics: March Madness, and financial products. Although he didn't disregard these topics, he wondered how far we as a society are from having fruitful, everyday discussions about something like what makes a good teacher. I thought that was a radical yet very common-sense idea. Until education (and many other topics) are as hot, and fun, as March Madness, it doesn't seem likely to gain political traction.

I'm no education guru, and I don't feel I'll save the world any time soon.

As if to totally put my feet back on the ground, I came back from my math test tonight to read this new feature in The Village Voice about hipsters in Chinatown. Specifically, the article talks about the housing battles of two buildings on Delancey, one block north of where I live. I've been following 55 and 61 Delancey Street for a few years now, because I work with the community organization that defends the low income tenants there. A couple of quotes stick out to me:

" You can tell the neighborhood's changing when you see Chinese stores selling kitchen and bathroom fixtures and storefronts displaying Buddhist shrines near the newish, hipsterish Fontana's, a bar where indie-rock bands from Mexico City play in the basement. Fontana's top floor looks as if it caters to more of a twentysomething bridge-and-tunnel crowd. "

I live across the street from Fontana's. I FUCKING HATE FONTANA'S. I hope I don't ever step into this bar, only to smoke and eat dumplings on my stoop after a drink. Get off my stoop!

"On the other hand, Sela also insists that Madison officials "want to make it, and keep it, Chinatown. They aren't trying to change the culture. They are committed to the culture." She points out that Madison Capital's people sit on the boards of various community organizations and are trying to find an Asian fusion restaurant to place in its empty storefront next to Rocket Joe's."

It's crazy how quickly the one block radius from my apartment building changes. Two weeks ago, NYC's biggest fire in years tore through three buildings across the street. As those hundreds of tenants are newly displaced, others remain under a constant threat. Still, some real estate management companies have the nerve to say they are somehow "making it" and/or "keeping it" Chinatown. An Asian fusion restaurant is not going to do anything for my Chinatown.

-----

A Humble Request

two weeks ago, three tenement buildings on grand and eldridge, across the street from where I live, burned, leaving one dead, 33 injured, and over 200 displaced. please donate whatever you can to the 'grand street fire fund' to help the tenants get replacement IDs.

For a family of four, it would cost over a thousand dollars to replace documents for everyone.This is money that the fire victims do not have. For donation-related inquiries, please contact Peter Gee at 212-979-8381, ext. 112 or at peter_gee@aafe.org.

If you're in the area, please donate clothing to CPLDC at 60 St. James Place.

Conference at Hampshire College and Mabuhay!

HI WORLD!  Major updates!

April 10th, 2010 - Abortion Rights to Social Justice: Building the Movement for Reproductive Freedom

I took a trip with three buds to Hampshire College in Massachusetts to attend this conference, and it was really really baller!  This conference was supposed to be three days long from April 9th to April 11th and is sponsored by the Civil Liberties and Public Policy Program and organized by Hampshire students.  I only got to stay Saturday morning and afternoon, but it was definitely one of the most inspiring, informational, and amazing experiences I've ever had.

They started off the day with a series of speakers who took the stage for five minutes and spoke about their work with reproductive rights and their uplifting messages.  The awesome thing about this was that there were so many people from different organizations and backgrounds, like anti-prison activists, environmental justice activists, people from different generations, and disability rights advocates.  It just reinforced the fact that these causes are all interrelated and relevant, and that allies are everywhere.

I sat in on three workshops: Gender and Militarism, Feminism and Sex Workers' Rights, and Politics of Family Creation.  You can get more info about the workshops at this link: http://clpp.hampshire.edu/projects/conference/2010/workshop

I liked all three workshops, but my favorite one by far was the Feminism and Sex Workers' Rights.  It was super informational.  I went in thinking that it would be about prostitution and sex trafficking, but instead I learned about all the things that "sex work" encompassed, including prostitution, phone sex, dominatrix work, and so much more.  Hearing from past sex workers and current sex workers' rights activists, it definitely made me think a lot more about what it means to be feminist, the sexual body and the ways that people are entitled to use and enjoy it, and the type of societal standards that stigmatizes sex work and sex workers and why they are problematic.  The speakers were so well-informed and powerful, I have nothing but immense respect for them.

There was one part that hit me very powerfully.  A participant of the workshop said something about not having ever been a sex worker and probably not ever going to be one, but she would still like to be an ally and work for the cause.  But she was wondering whether the movement was very exclusive to non-sex workers and whether she could be of any help.  One of the panelists responded with the message:  It depends on the organization, but if they don't want your involvement, don't pressure them.  If you want to be an active ally of any cause, you should be an active ally of a community that you are intimately involved with and engaged with every day.  Just by being a receptive, open-minded, and tolerant person, you are already an ally.

What the panelist said really got me thinking, and I completely agree.  I think that it is very important to be interested and involved with issues and causes, but at the same time, there are boundaries and everyone's experiences are different.  You may be able to relate to them in some ways, but in other ways, it would be impossible for you to understand and relate exactly with people.  I think it is very important to keep in mind, as activists, the types of boundaries you are crossing and the harms that may come from it.   I personally feel uncomfortable with the notion of waltzing into an intimate community that I don't belong to for a short period of time, doing my thing, and then waltzing out thinking that I've done something meaningful, important, all the while not having done something to make the community more sustainable and united.  Tell me what you think!

Some small other things: There were so many other women/female-bodied people at the conference with unconventionally female hairstyles!  Lots of mohawks, shaved heads, short hair!  And these students were definitely some of the most passionate, knowledgeable, and amazing people I've ever encountered.

April 16th: Mabuhay!

Last Friday was Mabuhay, Wesleyan's Asian/Asian-American cultural show.  It's one giant extravaganza of traditional dances, songs, modern pop dance numbers, and awesome MC's.  I participated in a spoken word event called "America, You Are Not White," which was a collaborative spoken word piece about being Asian-American, and reflections on our experience with racism, assimilation, cultural differences, and the different types of people that the term Asian-American encompass.  It's been a long and intense project, but amazingly rewarding!  I got to meet so many people who identified as Asian-American, and their thoughts and stories.  We wrote the piece in hopes of sending out a wake-up call to Asian-Americans on campus to realize that these cases of racism are targeted incidences, and that we must reflect and come together to keep talking about our experiences in order to create change within our community.  I'm just hoping it worked!

I'm just going to post the bit that I wrote and performed for the show.

For you, it is all about convenience:
categories, statistics, checkboxes.
For your convenience, my culture is a cartoon and you think it's:
Ching Chong General Tso's Chicken No Speak English Ni Hao Ma
But I am not a shape punched out by a racial cookie cutter
And my culture is a story of immigrant survival that
Landed gentry don't get and try so hard to forget
So while you struggle to measure my body, my mind, my stories, my identity
What is convenient for you, oppresses and silences me

I was so nervous!  My fellow performers and I were having de-stress dance parties backstage minutes before our performance.  But it was so fun, and I'm definitely looking forward to doing something like this again!

Dan Diddly Doo Ping-o?

Missing Chinatown

[caption id="attachment_48" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="bowery and grand // source: Bowery Boogie"]

[/caption]

Today, as part of the "March to the Mailbox" Census outreach day, I canvassed the streets of Boston's Chinatown. I stood outside a 'Ming's Supermarket,' passing out free t-shirts, hats, and information on the Census in Chinese. Of course this made me think of home.

I miss:

soy milk from bowery and grand

20 for a dollar mini cakes stand

sitting at Columbus till dusk

authentic bakery musk

walking up my five flights

sitting on my stoop at night

hot pot with white fish balls

nothing like my res hall

I spent so much time this week juggling the idea of not coming home all summer. And it may happen. I expect to be home for 5 days, after shanghai, beijing, and boston. oh man.

[caption id="attachment_51" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="getting jazzed up in census gear"][/caption]

Debriefing Baldiness: I did it 'cause I'm a woman!

[caption id="attachment_43" align="alignleft" width="300" caption="In an in-between stage when Sarah's dad's beard trimmer ran out of juice."][/caption]

Hello beautiful people!

Just going to post a short debrief because I didn't get to go too much into it last time.  The way it happened:

I was riding a bus to Philadelphia, and I just couldn't stop thinking about much I wanted to shave it.  Even though I kept thinking of the reasons why I shouldn't shave my head, I couldn't stop wondering what it'd be like.  And that's how I knew I was ready to shave my head, riding a stinky bus to Philadelphia around 10PM and feeling nauseous.

I think the biggest realization I made on that bus ride was: The only reason why I'm not shaving my head is because I'm worried about what people will think of me, which makes my hair a social crutch.  If people are going to judge me by my hair, then they are probably people I wouldn't care to be friends with anyway, and if I'm going to feel insecure without having my curtain of hair covering my face, then all the more reason to take this jump.  And most of all, if people are going to think I'm a lesbian or manly or not womanly enough, then they clearly don't know what a woman is.  My hair does not define my womanhood, my personality, or my identity.

My friend told me about an English teacher she had who also shaved her hair off.  I'm going to try to recreate the advice that her English teacher told her that she relayed to me:  All beautiful women should shave their hair off, or at least do something to make her not rely on her beauty.  Women don't realize how such a small thing like their hair can affect the way people think of you, interact with you, and how normalcy is so safe.

To end this blog post (I know I've been overly repetitive about my baldiness), I'm going to make a confession.  Ever since I've had this haircut, I've never felt so confident or attractive in my life.  It's such a powerful feeling!

Debriefing Korea

chicken & ginseng soup

seoul

For Spring Break, I had the unique privilege of traveling to South Korea on a scholarship program generously funded by the Korea Foundation. I met 75 other students from all over the country (hello to my sisters from Arkansas, Alabama, and upstate New York, and Minnesota)! After 24 hours of traveling, I made it from Boston to Seoul on a Saturday night. For the next 8 days, I had a packed schedule filled with seeing Seoul: eating traditional Korean food, learning Taekwondo, Korean drumming, and Korean traditional dance, listening to lectures at Yonsei University, and navigating the high-tech subway system. I was overwhelmed by the hospitality of the Korean students I met, and the liveliness of Seoul. It rivals New York for sure.

When I applied for this program, I mentioned my fascination with South Korea's dramatic economic development - its rise as as one of the four "Asian Tigers." (Singapore, Hong Kong, and Taiwan are the other three) We spent a week or so talking about this last term in Intro to Comparative Politics (Mr. Polazzo's class, college style). The story, the "Miracle of the Han River," is that through leveraging a cheap labor force and Export Oriented Industrialization (and lots of US investment), Korea managed to switch from an agricultural economy to a highly advanced, globalized one in less than 20 years. A devasted, post-war Korea has become the 13th largest economy in the world. Holy crap.

Last week, I saw this in action. Of course Seoul is bustling, and Samsumg and LG logos are everywhere, but I saw this "Tiger" in the place I would least expect: at the Demilitarized Zone. We spent our third day in South Korea at the border between North and South Korea, where a cease-fire has been maintained for 57 years (this year marks the 60th anniversary of the start of the war). We were given briefings by the UN Security Council officers, bused around to see The Bridge of No Return (where POWs were exchanged), and crawled through the Third Tunnel of Aggression (allegedly designed by North Korea to attack Seoul). Through all of this, I felt the military intensity, and complexity of the situation. But there's more.

As we stared at North Korea from the large window of the museum at the Third Tunnel, I saw a line of cars at a distance move towards North Korea. It was like watching a silent film (I think, although I've never actually seen a silent film)  - the cars made no noise, they looked more like toy cars than anything. Who were they?

None other than South Korean business people headed for the Kaesong Industrial Complex. Set up in 2002 and expected to be completed by 2012, this complex employs around 40,000 North Koreans for an average of $57/month - half the cost of comparable Chinese labor, and 5% of what it would cost in South Korea (Newsweek 2006). One hour away from Seoul, in communist North Korea, lies an intensely capitalist hub.

I could not believe irony of the conflict. Here I was, pretty thoroughly briefed about the nuclear threat of North Korea, and reminded that "the war is not over," as cars waltzed right through the border on their personal runway to capitalize on cheap labor. Can we call this the military-industrial complex? To some extent, South Korea is repeating a familiar process: staying competitive with cheap labor. But this is North Korea we're talking about, and while many Koreans I met (and many people I know in general) condemn the North Korean government, South Korea is committed to setting up factories across the border.

I am torn. To what extent should politics and economics overlap? Is it an issue that some of the South Korean students I met say that they, like many people, just "don't care" for North Korea? "In high school, we learned that North Korea was our friend, but in the military, I learned how to kill them. Now I just don't care." I want everyone to have a living wage, and so what does that mean for North Koreans? 60 years after the war, does reunification look more and more unlikely?

Unfortunately, I don't have nearly the expertise or knowledge needed to fully assess the situation. I was in South Korea for 9 days, and I learned so much, but there's so much more. I am honored to have had this experience, and it definitely left me more concerned and aware of international issues. Best Spring Break yet, definitely worth not sleeping this week, and being swamped in the weeks to come.

Shaving My Head follow up

HEY GUYS!

As I promised :). Hopefully I'll be able to write more about it soon. But just something to leave you thinking about: I did it because I'm a woman!

Dan Ping

Shaving My Head

For a few years now, I've been entertaining the idea of shaving my head. I think it all started in my junior year (?) of high school when I jokingly suggested it to my mother. My mother responded by telling me that monks would kidnap me, mistaking me for one of their kind and then dragging me back to their temple. It sounds so silly, and I can hardly imagine my mother truly believing in that, but ever since, I've felt intrigued by the idea. By that time in high school, I've already begun questioning about gender standards and as they are applied to me. The kind of girl who wore loose-fitting t-shirts and shouted "suck my dick" crudely and frequently, I've always garnered comments like, "You are such a man," or "Why aren't you more like a girl?" I usually sport long, long almost waist-length hair and have grown quite comfortable with it, so the idea of shaving my head just squirmed away from me.

Now that I'm college, the idea of shaving my head keeps resurfacing. My friend shaved her head, and I've had conversations with several of my friends that makes me consider it more and more. There are many reasons why girls might want to shave their head: just for the heck of it, their friends are doing it and they think it's cool, it's a politically conscious choice to defy gender norms, or they're doing it because it's suitable to their style and personality. I guess my reasons encompass a little bit of all of those, but more for the sake of wanting to do it for the experience.

I keep saying that I want to shave my head, but a little part of me says that I probably never will. Now, I probably sound like a person who talks the talk, but doesn't walk the walk, which I guess is true in this context. But despite my vacillating desires, I keep feeling like the con's would outweigh the pro's. Somethings that I always worry about if I shave my head are that people would think I'm a lesbian by stereotype, and that everyone would see/treat me differently. Even though the whole point of shaving my head would be to liberate myself from gender stereotypes (not to mention the added plus of shaving off time from my showers), I can't help but think about my mother being angry at me when she sees that I've shaved my head. My mother, who's perpetually concerned with the life of my future marriage, is always urging me to be more lady-like and more man-attracting. So, I'm just thinking that if I shaved my head every time my mother looks at me, she would be a little repulsed and a little disappointed. I'm just thinking that every time I go outside on my campus, people who associate lesbian women with shaved heads will think they already know who I am and what I'm like, and that frustrates me. But at the root of all my hesitation, doubts, and fears is just a personal self-reinforcement of gender stereotypes and gender roles within myself that I always claim I deny. I know I should just do it if I want to, or not just say it at all, but these are just some of the thoughts that I've had recently. If I do decide to shave my head, I'll let y'all know for sure!

Feminist Coming Out Day

"I am a feminist because I am inspired by the fierce women in my life and believe all women and girls should have the opportunity to reach their full fierceness."

In honor of International Women's Day, and to kick off Women's Week at Harvard, today was 'Feminist Coming Out Day.' I joined students all around campus in proudly wearing a "This is what a FEMINIST looks like" t-shirt that I got lost in Adams trying to find. The effort was subtle, but I'm sure people noticed. Hey, the guy who swipes my ID card for breakfast noticed. And I was complimented by a stranger in Boston.

Before coming to college, I never embraced the term feminist. I saw it as an antagonizing, and limiting term. But somehow through this crazy healthcare reform mess, I've met more proud, ambitious, and inclusive feminists than I can count. As I 'come out' as a feminist, I think about the strong woman who got on the bus for 17 hrs to lobby in DC, I think about the fierce sisters I have at NAPAWF, and the amazing girls (and guys) I'm surrounded by. I am honored and privileged to join the wall at the ever hidden Adams Artspace, but let's be clear - the voice and power of women and girls is anything but hidden.